sincere..

i woke up early this morning..kinda chilly..

wish to continue to sleep, but failed..

this cold saturday morning reminds me of home back in kampung ;)

Today is so quiet..everything seem to be frozen..maybe lots of people went back to their hometown for this long holiday. anyway, i work as usual today.

Yesterday, an old friend came to my house for a short visit, actually i did not expect him at all, out of sudden he was there knocking at my door. Actually i was alone at home, so i was a bit resistance to let him in. but he sure know well to invite himself in eventhough i already explain that i'm alone in the house, what can i do.. i left the door open, when at first he want to close it. honestly, i'm not comfortable at all but i don't want to be rude. Plus my darling and i were aware of his extra fond attitude towards girls which actually disgusting both of us, coz he ever did that to me in front of my darling.

I might be an open minded person as people can see, but the truth is, i am very conservative, and a girl of dignity (my close buddy and family knows tht well). Sometime, i feel certain people don't understand and being unconsiderable of other people's self respect. I find that very annoying, one should know the limits and respect other's dignity, we are not living in the western country where the culture is obviously opposite to ours.

When he was gone, seriously i feel disappointed, he is a former church member and even know my darling, and aware that we are getting married, but he seems to have no respect at all to me and my darling, and even ask me again and again when will i be free to go out with him, i don't understand why he did that and maybe he thinks that i'm easy and just like other girls he used to date or maybe he just don't understand how much i love my darling. i told him, i can't go out with him, and if my darling is around, when we are free then we'll see if we could hang out together with some other friends. The fact is that, i hate guys with this kind of attitude and i know it is wrong to hate, but this is the type of person who always ruins other's relationship and make other's life miserable.

i told my darling about his visit, and off course he was so annoyed as much as i did when he heard the news. Then he said "why most of your former church friends have this weird attitude, can't they be just as straight as when they are serving in ministry at the church?", at this, i feel so down, later last night, i prayed from the deepest of my soul and spirit for my friends that i know and had formerly serving in ministries together with me.

friends, i'm sorry if this hurt you, but i mean no offense to any of you, i hope that all of us including myself will be more sincere in living our life as we did in serving God. Sincerity to me is freedom to the soul.

time to rest..

how does retired people feel? i've always wonder. the guy i replaced was retired and yet he still came to the office once in a while. off course for my father, after retiring means time to concentrate on his sago plantation work. But i wonder, those retired from office job..i supposed they too finding something else to do, only that their things are different from what my dad did.

I believe all retirees should enjoy their retirement life, after long years of toils, they deserve to get the rest and time for themself and should not be burden by any more hard works. i wish my own dad know that, he need to stop doing whatever he did now. he does not need to do that anymore, all of us are grown up, thanks to God we have jobs and business, more than enough to support our family. it hurt me so much to see him working so hard despite his bad health condition. but he wont listen to us. He seems to ignore all our advise. i wish he know that all of us still need him to be healthy and well.

pak, ngak lah gei keja, cukup lah dakai puluk taun keja baat bak menak kamei semuah mudip dao dagen dunia ih, pasad gei, ih gei lian kaau bak merasa senang, bier kamei singen gei keja..kala kamei debei kenaan didak, jumit pun ngak dao angai, asal telo semuah jaan min apah bieh.

taking control of myself

one week feels so short, it's like having ice cream on a hot sunny day.

after one week, my lil sis has returned to sibu. I like her spending time with me.

we do a lots of exercise together..hehehe

one trend that is very common amongs girls or women, is being beautiful.
i have friends that are obsess to be beautiful (no offense friends). what i mean is that slim figure, smooth and fair skin, current hairstyle, and also inner beauty.
they are willing to spend lots of money to make sure they get the beauty tht they want.
after a while blending with them, i guess i'm nearly turning into one of them. i'm not quite sure if that is a good or bad influence at first. But somehow, i manage to balance myself, take the necessary and toss the not. In my case, i'm working toward a slimmer figure.

Before, i dont take health seriously, i dont even care of my bad eating habbit. my stress contribute to that too. Eating makes me feels good. I'm lucky to hv my boyfriend who always push me to slim down and change my eating habbit. But my family dont like the idea of my attempt to be slim, my mom always says my figure is okay. I guess i'm trapped between my mom and my boyfriend. But in the end, it is not because of them i took my action, it is my concern towards my health, plus my clothes hehehe, its hard to fit in lots of them already.

First, i found a partner for exercise, and i'm so grateful to hv her as my joging partner, coz for both of us, our target is achievable and realistic. before this others suggest on extreme dieting and some goes on without eating for days..which is unhealthy for me and no way i'm gonna torture myself doing that.

Second, i browse on healthy lifestyle articles, exercise tips and healthy way of dieting to shed fat from our body through the internet. i found those articles are really helpful, and i only follow tips that is suitable for me.

Third, i enjoy my slim down process, and feel more healthy than ever. some people get stress, frustrations and give up during the process, that is why, i don't even want to stress myself to get slim, i think of it as getting healthy process, try not to compare myself to others and put a realistic target and timeline.

I'm still on the process now and week by week i'm seeing myself improving.

thinking of..

i read a lot of articles about life. Somehow from time to time there are more and more articles about life that appears no matter where, the magazine, books, internet, newspapers, in fact they are everywhere.
so i guess, human are actually addicted to life, every single thing that we do are for our life or the life of others. Some take life to the extreme, cheating death or revive the death. i can't imagine how important a life is to human.
But taking life of others, like the gunman in virginia tech massacre is just an unthinkable act. I feel deeply sorry for those family who lost their love ones in the tragedy, and i pray that God will heal their broken heart.
By the way, from the incident, i learned something bout life. No matter how valuable our life is to ourself and others, it will be taken away from us, whether we allowed it or not, for it is not us to choose. When God says it's time...then Amen. For those who has gone, celebrate their memory, and for us who still alive, live for our salvation.

i hope this will light the candle in those heart who lost their love ones.
have a nice day! God bless you.

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

lately, i am soooooooooooooo busy. luckily a fren drop a note that triggers me to update my blog..

for the last 3 weeks, a lot of things happen..
1. i make a trip to Miri
2. attend 2 bday parties
3. my old skool fren got a job here in the same town, so we met again and the chitchat never end down to the memory lane (we do hv a lot of thing to catch up)
4. i got new haircut..regret it tho, my hair before already reach my waistline, now short already
:( and my darling a bit upset bout it.
5. i've been on serious diet and exercise and this is the 4th week, really sees the result hehehe
6. got new housemate, well i don like sharing my house with stranger tho..kinda odd, but she's a friend's girlfren, so have to..pity him. (honestly, i'm annoyed)
7. i'm thrill, my sis in law gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week
8. my parents are in KL, don't know when they are coming back but good thing bout it, dad call me more often.
9. my lil sis came to visit me, and good news is that she's gonna stay with me for a week, sooo kewl..hehhehe
10. my darling promise something for me, and he sure make my day hehehehe....

alrite, i guess ten is enuff. hv a nice day everyone!