Reunion

meeting some old close friends is wonderful. recently, i met some old buddies and stay overnight with them. old time memories came back, and we all share bout how's life goin on now and what's our future plan. it was such a great reunion, and more than that, we were serving in the same church before, so it was more like fellowship. i was so delighted to be able to meet them again and be with them in this near future. The different from last time and now is that, last time we are all student and now all of us graduated and have a career, when we look back, we could say..how blessed our life are.

well, my great achievement in life is that i have a lot of friends, and i hope to treasure them forever, coz friendship is a blessing that will always bring us joy..

Friends out there, keep in touch alright!

all praise and glory to God

at this moment, i am so thankful to God for giving me such an amazing opportunity.
i received another blessing from God which i consider to myself as wonderful. God has been my great refuge and provider all this year long. i faced a lot of obstacles from the beginning of the year, and all that is for my own good, i believe God teach me and make me grow in faith towards another level in my life.
I'm so glad for all that happened. in time of needs, God has help me in His own ways, beyond my expectation. God answer my prayers and return my joy. How awesome that is. I know that without Him i'm nothing.
Thanks also to my darling for being there all this while and hang in there with me. Thanks also for encouraging me, and push me to another stage of my life. Thanks to God for giving me my darling. and for my family, off course u all always pray for me..thanks for all your prayers and support.
i hope with this new opportunity, i become a better person in all aspect of my life.

cool art...

..TrUSt..

How To Build Trust in Relationships
By Susie and Otto Collins
Mar 6, 2000

How do you build trust in relationships? We've found the secret is constant communication, one moment at a time. We both came from dead-end relationships from a state of vulnerability but with a strong desire for a different kind of relationship--a relationship filled with passion, love, honesty, friendship and most of all, partnership.

Safety and trust are the twin sides of the same coin--both involve risk and both form the foundation of any great relationship. Safety is the feeling you get when you have trust. Trust means not only learning to trust others but it's learning to trust yourself--especially if you've been in less than desirable relationships in the past.

From the beginning, we've practiced honesty and not hiding, no matter how painful the truth is. When you've been used to "sparing" the other person or not saying something because it might hurt their feelings or rock the boat, it's very difficult to open up and speak your truth. But we believe this is absolutely necessary to form a solid foundation of trust between two people.

People often will trust a total stranger before trusting an
intimate partner because that total stranger cannot hurt them like they imagine a partner can. Tony Robbins tells a great story about how we all trust every single day of our lives while driving our cars. The fact of the matter is--it takes a great deal of trust to drive down a road at 55 mph with another car coming the other way at 55 mph and only one white line separating the two of you. The potential for danger is great--you don't know that other person; you don't know if they've been drinking; you don't know if they'll stay on their side of the road. That, my friend, takes a lot of trust.

The challenge is to exhibit the same amount of trust in our relationships--knowing, believing, trusting that the other person is acting from their highest good.

Two of the thought patterns that destroy trust in relationships are dwelling on past pain (whether with this person or others)and futurizing about potential negative events that haven't happened. Every time your mind starts to make up wild stories that involve abandonment, guilt, jealousy--those old tapes that just keep running and don't seem to stop--bring yourself back to the present moment and differentiate the past and the future the present. If you focus on "now" and what you want, you will build trust between you and your partner.

When we have these negative feelings, we talk about them--not hiding them but being honest. We've found that when we acknowledge that the source of these feelings originated from past experiences, the situation is not threatening to the other person and we are able to let those negative thoughts go.

If you place your attention on either worrying about past relationships or question where this relationship is going
in the future, you lose the opportunity to be in the moment
for yourself and your partner. You also lose the opportunity to build the trust that you need between the two of you. If you are in a relationship that has gone through some challenges, you can't heal the distance and pain between the two of you by dwelling on the past or fearing the future. You must look at where you are at the present time.

Build trust one moment at a time--remember what Dan
Millman said, "There are no ordinary moments."

i'm the jerk version

i'm doing it all wrong at this moment, every single thing that i do was not right.
i feel bad of myself this week.
i dont know if i enjoy and appreciate the present of people around me.
i can't think positive right now.
in every single day, i have make few things that make a bad impression of myself.
i try to be good this few days but failed.
and just few minutes ago, i screwed up again, and all i got is my darling's sour face.
somehow, all of this seems like happen by itself.
i dont intend to be rude to anyone, but it happen. when i realise what had happen it was done.
i feel sorry for those whose feeling i hurt, but somehow i myself doesn't feel good either.
some people comment that i make a lot of excuses, sometime i think it may be true.
but most of the time i'm not making excuses, i'm telling the truth.
lately i have low enthusiasm, until at this very moment

a tribute to a special Friend

uploading my mind...

i hate the situation when i did my best for a work, but all that i get back is crap from those people i help. sometime i blame myself maybe i did not do my best yet. but today, i get to say it all out, i don't care what people say anymore, i'm trying to do my work and i can't listen to everybody's complain or else i will never get it done!! sorang nak itu..sorang nak ini..dulu nak mcm tu, skrg nak mcm ni...arrrgghhhh..i might lost my mind.
and today, when i've done my part, complain pulak...telling tht the process took so long..OMG!! if i own this company, then u should blame me..i'm juz doin my job ok! and it's not my money and i don hv the power to spoonfeed all your needs! ewwwwwwwww disgusting! i hate people when they are being inconsiderable with others..if your life is gonna end juz because u didn't get it, then i suggest just quit this job and get a new one somewhere else. after all this company is not charity body to spoonfeed you to match everything that u want, furthermore it's not company's fault that you are broke and that ur money is not enough for everything.

unnecessary move

rumours goin on bout UMNO opening branch in Sarawak..my personal opinion..i totally agree with majority sarawakian, we don't need UMNO here in our state as we have strong BN component party to rule Sarawak, and UMNO is irrelevant to Sarawak because this state consist of more than 30 indigenous race.. why should we have a one race party which only benifited one group of people..Our state is different from any other state in this country, and we want to keep our identity and the way it is now.

here is clipping i got from Borneo post, i am a 100% supporting our political leaders on their effort and hard works to rule this state and and i hope they will keep Sarawak free from UMNO.

Nadai kebuah UMNO dibai tama kitu, ku Unting

Ulih Zora Chan

KUCHING, 12 Jun: Bala bekau kaban Parti Bansa Dayak Sarawak (PBDS) ke udah dikinsil rejista, bisi dipinta anang ngeregau penemu bala raban bansa Dayak, kelebih agi bala di menua pesisir, pasal rita penatai UMNO ke deka ngerekai lalu numbuh sayap iya di Sarawak.
Timbal presiden sepiak Parti Rakyat Sarawak (PRS) Dublin Unting madah Sapit Perdana Menteri udah terang madah hari Satu tu tadi UMNO nadai ati deka ngerembai diri ngagai Menua tu.
“Parti Pesaka Bumiputera Bersatu (PBB) tu siti parti Bumiputera ke sama bejalaika tanggung pengawa baka UMNO. PBB mega disukung kuat ulih komponen parti BN bukai di Sarawak,” ku iya madah ngagai bala pengarang berita ditu kemari.
Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak madah sida sigi enda meri kemendar tauka merekat sebarang atur deka numbuhka UMNO di Sarawak.
Dublin ke mega Menteri Muda Lumba enggau Main madah, iya bisi ninga sekeda bala bekau kaban PBDS bisi udah bejalai di Serian enggau Sri Aman ngelaku tauka promosi penatai UMNO kitu apin lama, lalu ba serantu jalai iya mansang ngagai Batang Ai, sekeda menira UMNO bisi digantung orang sebelah rumah panjai niti jalai kin.
Iya madah UMNO nadai kebuah patut masuk ngagai Sarawak laban parti ke sigi udah bisi ditu baruh pegai Kepala Menteri Pehin Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud endang nadai penanggul bejalaika pengawa sida mantu sereta nangkup peminta rayat.
“Kitai diatu chukup tegap, lalu UMNO nadai kebuah patut dibai tama datai kitu,” ku iya.
“Anang ngeregau runding enggau ati bala raban bansa Dayak di menua ulu. Dinga manah jaku bala tuai perintah besau enggau perintah menua,” ku iya.

to Mr D @ my Darling

A piece for my dearest..

I'll Stand By You

Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

Oh I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you

coming back from holiday..

holiday started friday last week till yesterday, before that my mom ask me wether i'm goin back or not, i told them i did not plan to go back. as soon i will be goin back when my eldest sis giving birth. so my mom quite disappointed, i told her my situation, she understand and approve. Gawai was always a big feast, but for me, i never really experience it as we are not celebrating gawai, but we do have friends and relatives who celebrate it..but i just don't have the opportunity to join them. last friday, the first day of gawai, my relative called me, inviting me to their house for makan2, so i went in the afternoon, i guess it's the first time i ever went to a bidayuh house (my relative's husband a bidayuh)for gawai. i spent about an hour there, then go back. that same evening i catch a bus and went to miri.

i did not drive to miri, coz it was late already, and rumours says tht during gawai season, there will be a lot of drunken people along Bintulu-Miri road, which scares me to drive alone for a 3 hours journey. when i reach miri, it was already pass 11pm, kak S and uncle Gabriel pick me up. i stayed at their house. the next morning, on saturday i attend the holy matrimonial of Anne and Perry at SIB Krokop church. but the disaster is that, when i take out my jeans out of my bag, i juz realize that i brought the wrong one, ("oh my gudness! i can't believe this!" my reaction when i realize). so dengan selambanya i juz put it on and act like nothing happen hahahhaha, but somehow when i reached at the church, somebody did notice the defect (eu jian & boboy and everybody else i guess but too polite to mention it to me hihi) i did flush, but i manage to pull it hahahhahhahaha...luckily i'm kind of muka tebal.

The wedding dinner was at dynasty hotel, i went there with mummy ernie, we did enjoy the nite (off course the food is nice hehehe)thanks to Anne and Perry. but when the clock strike 10, i was too sleepy to keep my mood in place, anyway i don't wanna ruin the joy, so taking photos did keep my sleepy eyes away. tht nite i sleep soundly..tak sedar dunia hahaha too tired. but i bet the bride and bridegroom are more tired than me. can't imagine if it's my own wedding.

The next morning, i went back to bintulu, i reached home at nearly 2pm after having lunch with aunty salalang and her family. she invite me for dinner at their house as her in laws are coming from Miri. so that evening i went to their house for dinner with her family.

then yesterday, it was a nice sunny day, so i washed and cleaned the house, after one whole tiring morning, i rest the whole afternoon watching TV. That evening i planned to go out jogging, but it was raining heavily, so i exercise at home. that's mean i did not went out at all the whole day yesterday..huh.. kinda like that, save petrol hahaha.

very talented!

being perfect

i don't know if i say this right, it is hard to become a person who others want you to be..
i believe only parents do it right when they brought us up, but when we become an adult we are also out of their hands as we can already decide for our self what we want to be..
for me, my parents had done a tremendous job in nurturing good values in me.
i am used to high expectation in my life, even though it's hard to achieve but i have tried my best, and i have no regrets bout it. i believe my family accept me as i am, even though sometimes i let them down, that's how family are.

I don't think it is fair to ask somebody to become other person by comparing that somebody with that other person, for example, they want you to be like A, and start to compare you with A. the fact is that, you are not A and i don't believe A is so perfect either. As far as i'm concern, nobody is perfect, so you have to accept other's imperfection. Stop comparing and try to accept them the way they are and be thankful for what you've got, not everybody can switch into somebody which they are not. Just encourage them for improvement, don't ask them to be somebody else. it's better off to be themselves.

i am not a good cook, but that does not mean i'm not goin to the kitchen at all.
i'm not so good with elder people, does not mean i did not respect them.
i'm not so good at home making yet, but that does not mean i'm not a good wife.
i have bad attitude, does not mean i didn't try to get rid of them.
i realize that i cannot be someone else other than myself, but one thing i know, i can make good of things that i'm not so good at. I also learn to adjust to life's circumstances, and hope others can tolerate with me too while i'm adjusting myself.

for me i learned a lesson, i have been so anxious before of trying to impress others, but the people which i try to impress so much are not too good themselves, so why should i be stressed out by this people who only know to expect the best and high demand from others while not looking in the mirror for a big splint stuck in their own eyes. i just want to live my life at my best,and be happy with it.

have a nice day my friends!

Sending back..

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me a true story that happened to a girl from a rural area. the story is like this...
one family who live in kuching go to the rural area to get a wife for their son, so they manage to pick one and both parents agreed for their child to be married to each other. after the wedding is done, the girl was brought to kuching to live with her husband's family. Then when she was there, she did not perform well as a wife, according to my friend, she hardly do any of the house chores. This attitude has cause her in laws dislike her.
Then her husband's family plan of a vacation back to her village in the rural area. i guess she must be so excited after staying with the in law for some time, finally she got to meet her family. but what happened next i guess will be the last thing on her mind, the husband's family sending her back for good, and annul her marriage with her husband.
well friends, i thought that is the meanest thing ever happened to a girl. She was married to a stranger, taken from her family, being incompetent as a wife, and the in laws plan behind her back to get rid of her, humiliate her whole family and relatives. how do you think she live her life after that??if i were to be in her place, i would probably commit suicide. Her story is being told again and again from mouth to mouth to this very day.
and what i hate the most is that, people who told the story to others is like so proud of the man's family who did tht thing to the girl, i think they must be dumb to be proud of such cruelty. And from my point of view, the man's family is coward enough to face the girl to tell her straight to her face that they don't like her, coward enough to accept her by who she is, coward enough to be responsible of their own decision of getting her married to their own son, and coward enough to teach her to be a good wife.
To that girl, i hope she will be strong, it is way better not to live with the dumbs and cowards, and to suffer because of them.
To the man's family, you claim her by marriage to be part of your family, yet you never accept/own her as part of you, don't even think that you had give her back, because you had never have her.

this is fantastic! i love it!

"Loose Canon" ...pachellbel become more fun than the original..hihihi

Blake goes to final!!!!

Top three perfom so great last night!! well the result is even great..my favourite Blake goes to final!! Melinda goes home but credits to her singing too, she's a brilliant singer..well i guess American has the same thought as i do..i was really hoping for Blake to go to final since the beginning of the show..and now my hope came true!

Now i hope Blake will be the next American Idol!!!!!

stammering children

Last night i watch Discovery Home & Health and one program that caught me..it's call "Help me to speak"
i was so move watching it, it make me realize how difficult it was to communicate if a child is stammering. the program shows that speech therapy could help this stammering children. i am really move to help children with stammering problem. i wonder if we have a community or support group in our country that actually help stammers children..friends, if u know any, please let me know.

anyway, if u don't have any idea what stammering is..this might help u understand:
http://www.stammering.org/generalinfo.html

sunny day

on sunday, i wash my owen, hang him outside to dry, but unlucky for him yesterday while i was in the office in the morning, it was raining heavily, so he was wet again..thanks to God, today is bright and sunny, so i guess i can hug owen when i sleep tonite..owen was a gift from my mom when i got offer from college in 2001. i really love him..my mom is the best hihi..

Yesterday, in the afternoon, i'm not feeling well, so i went back and rest at home. i work for half day, feel sorry to my staffs tho..coz left only a few in the office, others went on leave (committee release after Borneo Games).

i feel so blessed today for so many reason, and i hope others also feel the same..

Petronas Borneo Games

alright, The Petronas Borneo Games held in Bintulu this year, our venue host three 3 major games, Badminton, Tennis and Dart.

Officially kicked off today early in the morning, and right now there's a lot of people outside my office and around our venue. they hv been coming here since wednesday.

contigents from all over sabah, sarawak and W.P Labuan(which is form of Petronas staff in this three region)has been here since yesterday, and we are proud to welcome them, it's like meeting members of a very big family.

my staffs are all been busy since last week for the preparation of this Games, and some of them has been on standby since monday..kasihan, double the jobs. But it is excited to see the responds to this event. This event will close on monday next week, and we have a lot of fun activities coming up during this 4 days event, and also special artist perfomances.

so for all petronas staff in Borneo, enjoy this Borneo Games!

Have a nice day y'all!

a blessing from the other side of the world..

yesterday, while i was so bored waiting for an important email from our auditor, i browse thru few blogs..then i found this.. Angie's Blog
i read thru her blog, and she remind me of myself back then. i love to write things just as she wrote while i was in college.
Thanks to God for the blessing, i know it's not a coincidence to find her blog, and God is reminding me of His wonderful love again.

ok, have anice day everyone and God bless everybody!

empty

i'm going thru an emptyness right now, i don know, it's just happen, somehow, when i work, i feel empty, when go back home it feels so empty, i'm so bored. can't help it. each day, i was thinking hard what to do to get rid of this feeling. it's not that i have nothing to do, but it's just feels that way. it's like something is missing in my life. excitement, yeah i have no life excitement. maybe it's due to my life situation now..i'm stagnant. i can't move forward, and definitely i don't wanna turn back. people always say, live life one day at a time, but for me it's like living life one hour at a time..it feels so long. how i wish it was like in the fantasy world where i can just sleep thru this time today and wake up in the 2 or 3 months in the future.
and while writing this post, i have already yawn the third time..my gudness! i'm tired of all this..

cool..

i saw cip andy do this on his page, so i decided to try too..here's what i got ;)

horrify..

last week, a beaten up man was dump at a secluded area behind my house.

that morning, as i was washing my car, while my darling (still on his vacation here last week) was cutting the grass at the compound, suddenly a man called up asking for phone, my darling ask why does he need it, and he says, " a man got beaten up behind there, i saw him when i jog there just now, we need to call the police and make a report, he got blood all over him". we ask him where was the man, not long after that, a man, almost naked (he got only his underwear and his watch on his body) with blood all over his body, and smashed face wobbling towards the main road in front of my house. The guy who call us earlier go to him telling that we are calling the police and not to move coz he is in a terrible injuries.

i called up police station, and make the report, the police are on the way. while waiting for the police to come, my darling went together with some other neighbour asking the man what actually happen. "saya orang penang bang..kerja kapal, berlabuh kat port kat atas, mlm tadi turun bandar nak pegi minum dengan kawan..." he said. according to him, after he and a friend having drink at town, some other man promise to send him back to the port, it was past 1am already when they make a move to send him back, but instead of sending him back to the port, the 4 men beat him and took his wallet, clothes, shoes, and all other thing that he got on his body except his watch and his underwear. they dump him there and beat him some more before left.

my darling took one of his khaki pants, gave it to him to put on. poor guy, he got no ID, money, and furthermore, he came from accross the ocean. eventhough there is nothing much that we can do to help him but we were glad that at least we know the police can help him and he was sent to the hospital straight away, after the police saw him. well, this town i'm living now is not really a safe place to live especially at my housing area.

in merely one year plus living here, my house was broken in, my next door neighbour got arrested by police for a serious crime, rape case at the same secluded area, and now somebody got beaten up there..uhhh..this world is getting bad than ever.

food indulgence

for the last weekend till wednesday, i really allow myself to eat.
the chowdown feast begin on saturday..
after picking up my darling from the airport..we start with a little picnic by the seaside.
our menu:
Nasi lemak (he brought from KL, my fav wangsa maju nasi lemak)
BBQ chicken wings (his "must have" menu)
BBQ bishop nose (his fav)
Air tebu (our fav)
and off course some munchy junk food haha

Sunday
breakfast: before sunday service begin
kolok mee, mi goreng basah, teh c and teh peng

Lunch: after service
salad chicken rice, ice lemon tea, and iced tea

Dinner: at aunty house together with Ja'a do and Ja'a ke
meat, fried chicken, egg plant, vege, fish, soup and sambal not to forget rice.

Monday
i'm on leave, so the major activity of the day is eating hahhahha,
we have kuih muih, roasted chicken, chicken curry, vege lots of them, meat, fish and of course rice, and all those food with tons of calories from morning till night.

Tuesday (Labour day)
more exciting, we are having BBQ at aunty house, so i ate seriously a lot!!!

Wednesday (wesak day)
i can't take it anymore..so i stop, back to normal eating portion..then send my darling back to the airport, and after he left, i start to jog again...huh..

then on thursday and today, i find that eating a lot has got into me, i tend to eat a lot in these two days..uh oh..help!! hopefully its not raining this evening, coz seriously, i need to jog!

sincere..

i woke up early this morning..kinda chilly..

wish to continue to sleep, but failed..

this cold saturday morning reminds me of home back in kampung ;)

Today is so quiet..everything seem to be frozen..maybe lots of people went back to their hometown for this long holiday. anyway, i work as usual today.

Yesterday, an old friend came to my house for a short visit, actually i did not expect him at all, out of sudden he was there knocking at my door. Actually i was alone at home, so i was a bit resistance to let him in. but he sure know well to invite himself in eventhough i already explain that i'm alone in the house, what can i do.. i left the door open, when at first he want to close it. honestly, i'm not comfortable at all but i don't want to be rude. Plus my darling and i were aware of his extra fond attitude towards girls which actually disgusting both of us, coz he ever did that to me in front of my darling.

I might be an open minded person as people can see, but the truth is, i am very conservative, and a girl of dignity (my close buddy and family knows tht well). Sometime, i feel certain people don't understand and being unconsiderable of other people's self respect. I find that very annoying, one should know the limits and respect other's dignity, we are not living in the western country where the culture is obviously opposite to ours.

When he was gone, seriously i feel disappointed, he is a former church member and even know my darling, and aware that we are getting married, but he seems to have no respect at all to me and my darling, and even ask me again and again when will i be free to go out with him, i don't understand why he did that and maybe he thinks that i'm easy and just like other girls he used to date or maybe he just don't understand how much i love my darling. i told him, i can't go out with him, and if my darling is around, when we are free then we'll see if we could hang out together with some other friends. The fact is that, i hate guys with this kind of attitude and i know it is wrong to hate, but this is the type of person who always ruins other's relationship and make other's life miserable.

i told my darling about his visit, and off course he was so annoyed as much as i did when he heard the news. Then he said "why most of your former church friends have this weird attitude, can't they be just as straight as when they are serving in ministry at the church?", at this, i feel so down, later last night, i prayed from the deepest of my soul and spirit for my friends that i know and had formerly serving in ministries together with me.

friends, i'm sorry if this hurt you, but i mean no offense to any of you, i hope that all of us including myself will be more sincere in living our life as we did in serving God. Sincerity to me is freedom to the soul.

time to rest..

how does retired people feel? i've always wonder. the guy i replaced was retired and yet he still came to the office once in a while. off course for my father, after retiring means time to concentrate on his sago plantation work. But i wonder, those retired from office job..i supposed they too finding something else to do, only that their things are different from what my dad did.

I believe all retirees should enjoy their retirement life, after long years of toils, they deserve to get the rest and time for themself and should not be burden by any more hard works. i wish my own dad know that, he need to stop doing whatever he did now. he does not need to do that anymore, all of us are grown up, thanks to God we have jobs and business, more than enough to support our family. it hurt me so much to see him working so hard despite his bad health condition. but he wont listen to us. He seems to ignore all our advise. i wish he know that all of us still need him to be healthy and well.

pak, ngak lah gei keja, cukup lah dakai puluk taun keja baat bak menak kamei semuah mudip dao dagen dunia ih, pasad gei, ih gei lian kaau bak merasa senang, bier kamei singen gei keja..kala kamei debei kenaan didak, jumit pun ngak dao angai, asal telo semuah jaan min apah bieh.

taking control of myself

one week feels so short, it's like having ice cream on a hot sunny day.

after one week, my lil sis has returned to sibu. I like her spending time with me.

we do a lots of exercise together..hehehe

one trend that is very common amongs girls or women, is being beautiful.
i have friends that are obsess to be beautiful (no offense friends). what i mean is that slim figure, smooth and fair skin, current hairstyle, and also inner beauty.
they are willing to spend lots of money to make sure they get the beauty tht they want.
after a while blending with them, i guess i'm nearly turning into one of them. i'm not quite sure if that is a good or bad influence at first. But somehow, i manage to balance myself, take the necessary and toss the not. In my case, i'm working toward a slimmer figure.

Before, i dont take health seriously, i dont even care of my bad eating habbit. my stress contribute to that too. Eating makes me feels good. I'm lucky to hv my boyfriend who always push me to slim down and change my eating habbit. But my family dont like the idea of my attempt to be slim, my mom always says my figure is okay. I guess i'm trapped between my mom and my boyfriend. But in the end, it is not because of them i took my action, it is my concern towards my health, plus my clothes hehehe, its hard to fit in lots of them already.

First, i found a partner for exercise, and i'm so grateful to hv her as my joging partner, coz for both of us, our target is achievable and realistic. before this others suggest on extreme dieting and some goes on without eating for days..which is unhealthy for me and no way i'm gonna torture myself doing that.

Second, i browse on healthy lifestyle articles, exercise tips and healthy way of dieting to shed fat from our body through the internet. i found those articles are really helpful, and i only follow tips that is suitable for me.

Third, i enjoy my slim down process, and feel more healthy than ever. some people get stress, frustrations and give up during the process, that is why, i don't even want to stress myself to get slim, i think of it as getting healthy process, try not to compare myself to others and put a realistic target and timeline.

I'm still on the process now and week by week i'm seeing myself improving.

thinking of..

i read a lot of articles about life. Somehow from time to time there are more and more articles about life that appears no matter where, the magazine, books, internet, newspapers, in fact they are everywhere.
so i guess, human are actually addicted to life, every single thing that we do are for our life or the life of others. Some take life to the extreme, cheating death or revive the death. i can't imagine how important a life is to human.
But taking life of others, like the gunman in virginia tech massacre is just an unthinkable act. I feel deeply sorry for those family who lost their love ones in the tragedy, and i pray that God will heal their broken heart.
By the way, from the incident, i learned something bout life. No matter how valuable our life is to ourself and others, it will be taken away from us, whether we allowed it or not, for it is not us to choose. When God says it's time...then Amen. For those who has gone, celebrate their memory, and for us who still alive, live for our salvation.

i hope this will light the candle in those heart who lost their love ones.
have a nice day! God bless you.

buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

lately, i am soooooooooooooo busy. luckily a fren drop a note that triggers me to update my blog..

for the last 3 weeks, a lot of things happen..
1. i make a trip to Miri
2. attend 2 bday parties
3. my old skool fren got a job here in the same town, so we met again and the chitchat never end down to the memory lane (we do hv a lot of thing to catch up)
4. i got new haircut..regret it tho, my hair before already reach my waistline, now short already
:( and my darling a bit upset bout it.
5. i've been on serious diet and exercise and this is the 4th week, really sees the result hehehe
6. got new housemate, well i don like sharing my house with stranger tho..kinda odd, but she's a friend's girlfren, so have to..pity him. (honestly, i'm annoyed)
7. i'm thrill, my sis in law gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week
8. my parents are in KL, don't know when they are coming back but good thing bout it, dad call me more often.
9. my lil sis came to visit me, and good news is that she's gonna stay with me for a week, sooo kewl..hehhehe
10. my darling promise something for me, and he sure make my day hehehehe....

alrite, i guess ten is enuff. hv a nice day everyone!

all bout work

at this point of my career, i'm agreed to the saying "higher pay, higher responsibilty"
tommorow we are having a major event but i have it all ready and just few things to be prepared for the final touch.
next financial year, my workload is piling up, i have more major projects to handle. but off course i'm getting myself prepare for it. for this financial year, i have finished our new Guardhouse, football field and lots more major maintenance project. i am satisfied with my achievement so far, and can't get it done without excellent staffs. Glad i have a very hardworking staff.
But the ugly truth, despite my passion of getting my job done well, i am looking for another job. how ironic is that.. i work hard for this company, and yet i'm planning to leave. i guess i'm a person that is very hard to meet self satisfaction, i just want to do more than what i'm doing now.

superstitious

last night i have a bad dream, i'm not sure whether it's just a dream or it mean something..but the dream was quite weird to me.
in my dream, i caught my darling red handed kissing another girl, my reaction was, upset and go away holding my tears, and he did not go after me and just wait for me to come back, which i did come back and totally upset..
i woke up instantly and can't sleep after that, it was 3am in the morning. but i wasn't really thinking of the dream, then 5.45am, my darling who is thousands miles across the ocean send me a message (sms), greeting gud morning to me..somehow he did ring a bell, i told him straight away bout my dream, he said that it was nonsense..
i know it was just me, the dream was a little bit disturbing, maybe i just miss him so much. Never cross my mind to think of my darling would do something like that as i trust him and know his character well. what a dream tho....huh can't imagine if it really happen..

Anyway, thanks God i have faith.

freelance job wanted

friends..

if you know any vacancy for freelance job, please let me know ok..
i'm kinda bored, and need to do something during my spare time.

i would be happy enough if i got any writing job, i can write about anything hehe..

contact me (please...):- erry682@yahoo.com

i am serious bout this, and appreciate your help.

sweet treasure

today, suddenly my sis (sis adlin) who now live in sabah goes online, we chat for a while, there are too much to catch up between each other..i miss her so much and haven't seen her for few years now since i left college. i'm so glad that we are stil keepin in touch wit each other.
she is like a real sis to me..she cared for me when i was in college and help me with a lot of my probs. i miss to hang out wit her. hopefully someday i could hang out wit her again. she told me.."eventho we are far apart, yet it feels like you are so close to me" and off course i feel the same way too, againts all odd, we still connected to each other eventho we haven't seen each other for so many years..our conversation, topics, and "language"..we understand each other so much and that's the amazing thing of our relationship.
it is so hard to find somebody that can really suit or match our soul, and affect us so much. she is like a precious treasure to me. i thank God for a sister like her.

luv u sis..

my first dental appointment

at last, i made it to the dentist..i was ready to bear the pain of tooth being pulled out of my gum.
to my surprise, the dentist said "your tooth is still ok, we only need to fill the decayed tooth". then she set an appointment for me next tuesday.
i always have the fear of seeing dentist before, but what i experience just now is not bad at all. i feel comfortable with it.
well, i guess i won't be seeing any toothfairy in this time around ;)

King of my heart

i could have not got anything without Him, the King of my heart
many people take Him for granted
i pray that i will always give Him thanks
for everything that i was, am, and goin to be

i dedicated the song "King of my heart" by michelle tumes to HIM
who deserve all the praises and worship of my heart
i am so glad that i am found..
i pray that all others who seek Him shall be found too..

i dream of...

the place where i work is exactly by the sea shore, but unfortuntely due to erosion, now we could only indulge the sea view from inside our perimeter fence.




i always dream of a getaway, to the amazing islands of maldives..last time i saw great vacation destinations there on TV...uhhh..how i really wish i could go there..i guess that is what i need right now.

maybe i'm affected by busybee virus, plus my toothache..OMG..can't event eat properly now, especially iced and sweet food. my staff went to a dentist this morning and he did invite me too, but i was just too busy with my job. guess i just go next week, hope i will still survive till then.

by the way, i'm preparing to be in the long distance relationship again..(owh..really don't like it), my darling is goin away again..for quite a long time this time...and i might need to prepare for a move again but not soon..well what can i say, life goes on...

Rollercoaster..

life is full of changes and surprise..sometime there are too many changes in short time, and i feel tired adapting myself to it..i guess i'm agree to the sayin "life is a roller coaster"

When we took a ride on a roller coaster;

all the way up, we feel the bloodrush and our heart pumping like crazy, and we scream excitedly..

When it goes down, our scream = excitement + fear + sick

hahhahaha...

After it come to the end, it stop, we stand up and walk away, sometime wobbly, dizzy and feeling funny..but in not more than 10 step, we are back to normal..

sometime i find that changes are exciting, and sometime wears me out..and other time, i don't quite sure if it is right..or if i'm doin ok with it.sometime, i drag myself to get pass it as fast as i could, like wishing the rollercoaster ride would end soon, but sometime i don't want it to end.

next month, there is gonna be a major changes for me again, i don't knw where it leads me to, but i do hope it does bring me to a better stage. and as for sure, changes come in package, there are a lot of things to expect when we receive and open the pack.

like weed...

the uniqueness of old folks conversation, the way they talk and discuss sometime could be so interesting. especially those who are still holding to the old custom and traditional way of life. their language is far more deep but the point is very clear, not like modern people nowadays who talk shallowly but hardly can understand what's the point they are trying to say.

our folks might be old, and we can't live the way they were in the past, but somehow, their wisdom is applicable to this very day. no matter how modern our life could be, take some time to listen to old folks, especially our own parents, they might not be as smart as to live in this technology era, but their thoughts, experiences and wisdoms might be as twice as thick of an encyclopedia.

"a person does not grow like weed, he was brought up by somebody, therefore he is not an individual, but a family member"
(a quote from my dad, last chinese new year 18/02/2007)

Love is in the air..

yesterday, everybody sing love song in the office
plus forwarding each other love msg
and what i did is...lucky draw for all the office staff
with the theme "valentine lucky draw special"
so we have fun celebrating valentine in the office..haha

for me and my darling..
as usual, we didn't celebrate valentine
i went home from work,
cook some food,
said grace together, and eat dinner..
after that watching TV and that's it.

most important thing is the Love that we share
and appreciation towards each other..

to all my friends, Happy Valentine Day..

to my Darling..i love you so much
and everyday is valentine day for us.

Retire age at 60??

Government to study longer term for civil servants
By PAUL CHOO
PUTRAJAYA: The Government will study extending the retirement age of civil servants to 60.
Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said the current retirement age of 56 was too low for one to retire.
He said the longer life span and better health enjoyed by Malaysians now should also be taken into account.

i cut the news above from thestar.com.my, i believe it's a good effort, but i hope gov do give options to the civil servants tht will benefit both.

from my point of view, indirectly this actually promote civil servants to practise healthy lifestyle and diet, which in the end improve the malaysian life quality, because in order to work until the age of 60 without decreasing the level of efficiency and effectiveness, one need to be physically and mentally fit.

what do u think?

sooo..adorable....

i wish i could have a puppy like this.......

i envy my fren, she got two kitties,

i can't keep one

please let me have a puppy,

juz now i went to pet shop

how i wish i can take home one cute little puppy i saw there,

i promise to myself, i'm gonna have one in the future

^_^

time goes by...so slowly....

well that will remind you of Madona's song rite :P

actually that is how i feel right now.
i can feel that time is like slowing down to a snail pace.
i miss my darling so much.
can't wait to meet him this weekend.
i'm counting every hour towards it..huh..
how i wish i could meet him earlier than that
today or tomoro..i'll be so much pleased..

i hope mom and dad will not cancel their trip again nxt week.
they promise to come and stay with me for one week.
they cancelled it last week, i'm so sad.
sumtime, staying alone does feel empty.
guess i only need single storey house and not double.
it is so spacy for a girl like me (i miss my apartment in sec.2)
but lucky to hv lovely neighbour with cute children :)

office is dull, i feel sleepy
papers and research, i need to dig
owh..i'm waiting for docs, it's like forever
and now playing in my winamp is Zombie..
guess it suit my condition now hihihihi..

ciao!

sound of the rain..

thru my office door, i can see the rain fall down..a beautiful scene actually, last time when i was a little kid, i like to watch the rain...i like the temperature dropped because of the rain..coz back in my village, it was very hot during sunny day.

right now i'm listening to "fall" by hilsong, it was not coincident i guess, suit the sound of the rain...i found peace of mind..just watching and listen to the rain..i wish i could break free and dance in the rain..hopefully one day i could.

last weekend, i hang out with buddies i treasure since my childhood. it was a refreshing moment for myself like the rain today washing up the atmosphere. with them, i realized how things have change and yet we can still connect with each other in topics that each brought into conversation..that's the uniqueness of buddies being brought up in a same community, background and culture, no matter how many years we have been away from each other and how different we have become, still there is something inside of us remain and never change like the rain. i guess i'm proud of that.

well guys, thanks for your time and the drink hehhehe..wish you all the best in future circumstances. God bless y'all! and i guess, it is rain of blessing today..hehehehe

this is not a commercial for gadis sunsilk

i got this one forwarded by my sis, a moment captured in this flooding season...hemmm...

hujan..oh..hujan..

i remember one malay song with that lyrics..i heard it on radio before or TV..can't quite recalled. i guess this song match the season we are in now...

it has been raining everyday since i'm back from holiday in kampung, and reports of flood are all over the newspapers and TV, and even the government did so many reminder or warning thru the media. but in the middle of this nature disaster, lots of initiative promote by the government bodies to lend hands to the flood victims. i'm glad that they did this. at least they do something bout it, eventhough flooding is like a normal phenomena to our country and affecting almost the same area every year, they should have effective complete system years ago, and supposedly by now they only prepare for unpredictable situations. by the way, there is still improvement each year in handling flood season, but i guess it does not develop fast enough to totally tackle this problem. i hope the pros could do more bout this.



well, for more info on flood, u can check out this weather encyclopedia from the weather channel website.

my buddy

while i was on holiday last month, i left my buddy at a friend's house..for a long holiday, i did worried of it eventho i left it to a trusworthy person.
when we return on the 1st of January, my friend hand it back to us. how glad i was to see it in one piece. my darling told me, we should get my buddy a present too. so yesterday, my darling and i send it to the car accessories shop. so we choose few item for it and give it a new look for the new year hehhehhe..

2007

thanks to God for 2006, it has been a wonderful year to me. as a person, i have improved in many aspects of life. my family has been so blessed throughout the year.

today is the third day in the year of 2007. for me, everything seems to be happening so fast. this year i'm gonna be 25, but still i feel like i'm 18 hahaha..well can't run away from reality though, the other day during my sis ceremony back in kampung, aunts and uncles has been busy asking when is my turn to get married..huh..tough question to answer for both me and my darling..so most of the time we just smile and said not yet.
it is not easy to get married, with a lot of thing to consider plus the money we need for the wedding..hate to think bout it, but need to..i don't know if we are ready enough for it. the pressure is getting onto us. i pray tht God bless us abundantly again this year, so that we can get thru the pressure and guide us to get pass it and i also pray tht His will be done in us in this new year of 2007.

My God bless all of us throughout 2007!