Saturday, March 27, 2010

Attitude Vs Feeling

I watch a drama on local tv station, one of the line that capture me in the drama was..having to care of other's feeling until we neglect our own feeling..

I believe a lot of us are in that situation, well lately, i was in the situation a lot. I hate it when it happen to me. But i learn how to handle it by getting through it. I get to point no.1, we could never impress other up to their expectation, as they have their own opinion on things, and not necessarily up to our own understanding. For example, I tried my best to make things better for someone else, but tht someone just don't seem to appreciate my effort, and i end up frustrated and angry. I feel tht i hv been fooling myself by trying so hard. So in the end, i took my husband's advise to just let go, as we can't do everything for others no matter how much we love them and wanted the best for them.

Point No.2, We could never change other's attitude unless they want to change. I get to a point that i had enough with one's attitude. It's very hard for me to accept a person's laziness because it annoy me so much! There's too much complaints and excuses, and i never like ridiculous excuses. I don't know if i'm particularly a difficult person to live with but for me too lazy is too much! especially for a girl. I can't stand it and i don't care anymore.

Point No.3, I could never live with a person that did not give a damn about anything or anyone else but herself. why would i waste my time, energy and emotion thinking of this kind of person. Somehow as if the universe is helping me in this matter, it turn out that i'm not the one who will have to work on to solve this problem. so now, i'm gonna follow the game and guiltlessly feeling relieve as, i have other burden and problem to face.

Point No.4, In time in need, i don't need negativity. In a vulnerable state, i don't need negative energy evolving around me. all i need at the moment is support, encouragement and constructive criticsm. I don't need people who will make me feel bad or worse, inadequate, incapable, helpless and not good enough. My condition is obvious enough, i would appreciate a bit of sensitivity.

Well, sometime trying to accomodate others are wearing us down rather than building us up. So i learned the lesson, i just got to do my best and not to push myself too hard. It take positive attitude and passion to live harmoniously with others in this life.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

when hubby's away..

I'm actually getting used to my husband travelling every 1 or 2 weeks now. I got plenty of time for myself and the house. good thing is that i hv his youngest bro and my youngest sis staying with us. so when he travel, i stil hv companies at home (especially now tht i'm pregnant). It's not bout counting on them to help me around the house (which u knw how youngsters/student are..), but more to feel safe having somebody staying with me in case anything happen (this is my first pregnancy, so i'm a bit nervous)

In the beginning, i feel so lonely when he was away..for example, just a few weeks after our wedding he had to travel for a month, and we just moved into a new home. it's just me and him, no more housemates. Well, before we got married, we were on a long distance relationship a lot (years of it), despite of tht experiences, i definitely feel more lonely than it was before. But now after more than a year later, i'm getting good at handling it.

Most challenging was the last 3 month of year 2009, during the first trimester, i was so down with morning sickness (which actually 24hours sickness to me). i need him most and yet he travel a lot. i feel so awful when he was away. When he returned home, he took care of me delicately, i feel that he tried to made up for the time he wasn't around. I noticed tht he tried his best to relate to me in my condition, but sometime he couldn't as he did not feel or saw the changes yet (i wasn't showing baby bump until 5 months into pregnancy).

Since January this year, his job is so demanding tht he travel extensively. there was one time he returned home after 3 weeks travelling, he was so surprised to see my big belly. at tht moment, i saw in his eyes how he regret to miss the time to be with me. And from then on, he finally could fully relate to the baby i'm carrying in my tummy. he touch my belly whenever he could, feel the baby move or kicks. It was such a pure joy for me and him.

As i said in my previous post, second trimester, my morning sickness has gone..and now, it does not bother me when my husband is away, it's back to what it was before. Missing him every moment is no exception. I just don't feel so bad anymore. we keep in touch almost at any time of the day and night. He called me every few hours as usual, only now instead of asking just bout me, he is asking bout our baby too. I could feel that we are ready to be parents no matter how much he will be away for his work in the future.

I love you darling, don't worry..everything gonna be fine ;)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

expecting..

The word expecting become bigger to my husband and me. and getting bigger and bigger day by day now..i'm 26 weeks pregnant! Our first baby ;)

At first i don't hv any idea what to expect, except tht i'm expecting hahhahaha..but through sharing n reading..i got to learn a lot (really a lot!!) about pregnancy. my friends n colleague share a great deal of knowledge, and my family has been my reference to every changes that i found out to my body, I ring plus text them every now n then. i believe next time they will produce an FAQ based on my enquiries, so tht they wont hv to answer too many question like i been asking them.

The first 3 and 1/2 months, morning sickness took over my life. it was too bad that i couldnt even eat, smell, sleep and cook properly. i vomit during day n night. i feel sick all the time. But thank God i did not hv mood swing. My husband cope very well with my condition and always try to keep me eating healthy.

Now, i'm in my second trimester, and just like that my morning sickness leave me. I'm so glad! i start to eat properly again and gain weight as normal preggers do in their second trimester. Going to the doctor is something my husband and i look forward to every month now. We love to see how our baby doing month by month. So far, thanks to God, our baby is developing very well and i keep track on every food tht i eat to make sure my baby get enough nutrition. To keep fit, i do evening walk with my younger sis, and i enjoy it so much.

TBC....next time guys! hv a nice day!